


Dream Catcher

by LilyK



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 06:51:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim's dreams are out of control and he feels as if he's going crazy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dream Catcher

A big thank you to Double R for the great beta job. 

* * *

Moonlight flooded the loft on the clear, cold fall evening. Detective James Ellison had left open the blinds leading to the balcony, letting the light bathe the apartment in soft, white luminescence. His partner, Detective Blair Sandburg, had pointed out that it wasn't fair, Jim could see in the dark and he couldn't. He wanted to see his lover, not just feel him. Jim had laughed and left the blinds open, adding the light from several candles that now flickered from the dresser in the bedroom, just so Blair could "see". Jim was a considerate lover. 

The murmuring of voices drifted through the apartment intermingled with laughter. 

"You smell so good." Jim's affectionate voice spoke to Blair. "I just want to touch you." 

He reached out and pushed a few strands of the damp, curly hair from Blair's face and forehead. They had been teasing, touching, kissing and loving for the better part of an hour now, just taking their time, savoring each other. Right now, they were more teasing than passionate, more talking than quiet, mostly laughing, and definitely enjoying each other's company. Both men were happy beyond belief. They knew from experience that not everyone was lucky enough to be with the person that they loved more than life itself. They considered themselves two of the lucky ones. 

"Go ahead, Jim. Touch me all you want." 

"Hey, I thought you said you needed to catch your breath." 

Blair glanced at Jim from under dark lashes. "It's been five minutes. Don't make me wait any longer." Blair's voice was deep and inviting. 

Jim chuckled softly at Blair. He pulled him close, sliding his arm under Blair's neck, and leaning over him, supporting himself with his other hand. He relished the warmth of their bodies lightly touching. When Jim's senses were dialed open, the slightest touch was like fire. Jim kissed Blair's inviting lips just as lightly and then he laid a trail of kisses softly up the side of Blair's face to his eyes. He placed more warm kisses on each eyelid. Blair ran his hand down Jim's chest, enjoying the feel of Jim's smooth, muscled chest. He stopped at his nipple, rubbing until it hardened beneath his fingers. He trailed his fingers across the firm torso, making his way to the other nipple. Blair teased it to hardness to match its mate. 

Jim's mouth traveled from his lover's eyes to his mouth again, pressing harder, gliding his tongue into Blair's mouth, and savoring his flavor. Jim could never get enough of Blair's lips, mouth and tongue. It was the essence of Blair, the best part, and the tastiest part. It tingled Jim's senses kissing Blair, sending gentle shock waves through his tongue and lips, into his head, down his body, and into his groin. Making love with Blair was always the same, yet always so different, always so remarkable. Jim couldn't describe it if he had to. 

"Tell me, Blair, what do you want?" He asked as he nuzzled his face into Blair's hair, inhaling the Blair-scent that he loved. Another thing he couldn't describe. Blair smelled like Blair, like nothing else on earth. He smelled of love, and passion, and comfort, and belonging. Blair's fragrance was permanently stored in Jim's brain, always within reach. 

"I want you to kiss me again like you mean it." 

"I can handle that." Jim's lips found Blair's. He laced his fingers through Blair's long hair, feeling its silky, coarse texture, his fingers raking though the strands and letting them fall against the pillow. He was happy that Blair had allowed it to grow after having to cut it short for the Academy. To Jim, it suited him perfectly. After many breathless minutes, he pulled back and looked into Blair's eyes. 

"How was that?" 

"Okay, I guess." 

"Gee, thanks. What else do you want if that wasn't good enough?" 

Blair laughed lightly. "Hmmm, let's see, you should try my nipples next. They seem kind of lonely." 

Jim kissed his way down Blair's neck and chest to his nipples, licking and nibbling each button into hardness. He placed noisy, wet kisses on his journey from one to the other. 

"I don't want one to feel like it's getting more attention than the other, so I'd better do it again." Jim courteously informed Blair. 

Blair's breathing was starting to escalate. "Jim, that's so fair of you. You're just too considerate." 

Jim sucked and teased Blair's nipples again, and then he started to place a trail of kisses down Blair's furry, firm chest and across his flat, hairy stomach, stopping to lick his navel. Blair giggled like a kid. 

"Jim! That tickles." 

So Jim licked his navel again. Jim stopped his explorations and raked his eyes over Blair's enticing body. Jim liked his flat stomach, his hairy chest, his muscular legs, and his strong shoulders. Blair was one very tough and sturdy guy, as he had come to find out, and he was put together just flawlessly everywhere, as far was Jim was concerned. His eyes scanned Blair again. Great accessories, and a great ass, he smiled to himself. Sometimes it still surprised him, how profound his feelings for Blair were. Never in a million years did he ever expect to be so totally in love with his partner. 

Blair was quietly watching Jim watch him. Jim fell to his back on the bed, grinning as he closed his eyes. 

"I'm tired. I think I'll go to sleep." 

Blair gazed at him silently for a while, propping his head on his hand, smiling while his eyes drank in his lover's body. Jim was exquisite. He was lean and muscular, smooth and sleek. And he had excellent equipment, Blair thought. 'And he's all mine.' Blair laughed out loud at himself, kissing the scar on Jim's arm from the bullet wound he had suffered a while ago, and licking the other on his shoulder. He put his head down on Jim's chest, enjoying the comfort of his breathing and heartbeat. Blair loved Jim Ellison more than he had ever thought possible to love anyone. 

Jim pretended to be asleep. 

"Hey, Jim, while you're're sleeping, you don't mind if I play around, do you?" 

"No, you go ahead. Just let me know in the morning if I liked it." 

"Okay, I can do that." Blair chuckled softly in his throat. 

He slid on top of Jim and wrapped his arms around Jim's neck. Blair's lips were demanding as they pressed against Jim's. His hair fell like a veil covering both their faces. He stopped and pulled it back, reaching over to the nightstand, looking for an elastic band to get the tangled mess out of his way. 

"Don't." Jim whispered. 

"It's a disaster. I was pulling it out of the way. I don't want you to choke on it." 

"No. Leave it. I like it messy. It's sexy. It turns me on. Besides, if I choke on it, you can always give me artificial respiration. You owe me anyway. " 

Blair laughed. "Sure, Jim. But you'll have to help me get all the tangles out." 

"Now that might be a tough assignment. We'll need two days to comb through all that hair." Jim smiled as he ran his hands through it, careful not to pull on the knots. 

"Anyway, where was I before you so rudely interrupted me?" 

"Just start anywhere. I'm not particular." Jim was being quite agreeable tonight. 

He wrapped his arms back around Jim's neck, and kissed him. "Hey, now I remember." 

"Blair, shut up." 

Blair's soft, deep laugh tickled Jim's ears. Blair's mouth found Jim's, and his slow, gentle kisses turned into passionate, consuming ones. It was time. He was ready. His erection had been full and firm, and now swelled to its limits, and starting to ache with need. He kissed Jim harder, rubbing his dick against Jim's torso. With his foot, he spread Jim's legs and clasped his thighs around Jim's erection, using his toes to give him purchase. 

The friction of Blair's skin abrading Jim's body caused flames to run through Jim's senses, and his hands reached down to cup Blair's warm ass. The palms of his hands caressed the firm flesh, the touch sending goose bumps up both of Jim's arms. He moaned low and soft, sounding almost like the panther's rumbling to Blair's ears. Blair breathed harshly through his nose as Jim caressed his body, his kissing relentless, and his roaming tongue scorching the insides of Blair's mouth. To Jim, making love with Blair was like being in the middle of an inferno. He almost expected to burst into flames. But he left his senses open, knowing Blair would discern if he were skirting too close to the edge of a major zone out. Blair knew. Somehow he always knew. 

Blair stopped his conquering of Jim's mouth, and kissed Jim's ear, sucking on his earlobe. "You awake?" He whispered breathlessly into his ear. 

Jim put his hands on either side of Blair's head and brought his face close to his, Jim's crystal blue eyes meeting Blair's sapphire ones. "No. I'm dreaming, or I've died and gone to heaven." 

Jim pulled Blair's lips to his, holding his head, running his hands over his hair, finally lacing his fingers though the curly strands, and wrapping his fingers around handfuls of it, holding Blair's mouth on his, tasting, teasing with his tongue. Blair's hard erection rubbing against the smooth skin of Jim's stomach felt like a thousand volts of electricity touching Jim; the fluid trailing out of Blair's shaft sizzling on his body. Blair's thighs pressed tightly around Jim's dick holding it prisoner sending ripples of delight through Jim's frame. 

Jim sensed Blair's body gathering for its release; he felt the blood rush through Blair's veins, and his breathing intensified. Jim freed his grasp of Blair's hair, and wrapped his arms around Blair's shoulders, holding him close. Blair buried his face in Jim's neck, and groaned deeply. The spasms vibrated through him, and he came with a ragged cry. With his arms wrapped around Blair, Jim rolled them both onto their sides, and pressed his hands against Blair's ass. Blair held his legs together as Jim thrust into the overheated clasp of Blair's thighs. It took just a few seconds for Jim's orgasm to pulsate through his body. His fingers dug into the warm skin, and he moaned and called Blair's name. 

They lay quietly for a while in each other's arms, catching their breaths, languidly kissing. Jim reached to the floor and pulled a clean towel from a pile. Blair took it from him, and wiped the results of their lovemaking from his and Jim's body. He started to fold it neatly, the way Jim liked, but Jim pulled the towel from Blair's fingers, and tossed it over the railing to the floor below. Blair laughed. He loved it when neat-as-a-pin partner was messy. 

"Jim, when you ask in the morning, I'll tell you that you enjoyed it." 

"Good. I'm glad I can enjoy you even in my sleep." 

Blair laughed. "You're a mighty talented guy, aren't you?" 

"Yeah, that's why you love me." Jim kissed the end of Blair's nose. 

"Oh, I didn't say I loved you." Blair sucked Jim's lower lip between his teeth, and bit lightly. 

Jim took that as a challenge. He rolled Blair onto his back, and pinned his wrists together over his head, slipping a leg across Blair's upper thighs. 

"Tell me you love me." Jim ordered. 

"Make me." Blair pouted, turning his face away from Jim. 

Jim laughed. He held Blair's wrists with one hand, and slid the other under Blair's chin, turned his inviting mouth and full lips just where Jim wanted them. Blair clamped his lips together. Jim tried to pry his lips apart with his tongue, but Blair held fast. He used his fingers to pinch Blair's nose, and when he had to open his mouth for a breath, Jim was ready. He covered Blair's lips with his mouth, and slid his tongue in, caressing every corner. He kissed him hard, again and again until Blair was breathless. 

"Now do you love me?" Jim demanded. 

Blair could hardly speak. "I have to think about it." He whispered. 

"Blair, you are asking for it." Jim's voice was husky with invitation. 

Blair finally caught his breath, and looked at Jim with blue eyes shining with desire. "And I suppose you think you're man enough to give it to me?" 

Jim snuffled his nose against the side of Blair's head, breathing in his musky scent, and chuckled. Blair was still pinned, unable to move, and he still had a smart mouth. But Blair knew exactly what he wanted, and he wanted Jim. Jim never refused an invitation. He didn't want to be rude, after all. 

"You're in major trouble now." 

"Promises. Promises." 

And so he was. Jim caressed and teased Blair hard in minutes. Blair had a quick recovery from his first orgasm, and Jim was serious about giving him his second. 

Jim was enjoying himself. "Blair, I noticed that you seem to be excited. It's because you're just a baby. All I have to do is touch you, and you're excited. You have absolutely no control." 

"You're a dick, you know that?" 

Jim's fingers danced over Blair's erection. "You obviously need more attention. You act like you're ready for more attention." 

His hand traveled down to Blair's balls, caressing gently, enjoying the feel of them in his hand. Every part of Blair's body felt differently under his hands. Soft, rough, hairy, smooth, warm, and hot. Jim relished every inch. 

Blair's breathing came in raspy gasps. "No, not me... I'm okay. I don't need any... Really." 

"You're lying, Blair." Jim leaned over and ran his teeth and tongue on Blair's nipples, making them ache for more. 

"Jim, please... Oh... I'm tired... I'm, ah... Jim!" 

Blair's cries of pleasure and passion echoed in Jim's ears. Making love with Blair was always remarkable; each time was as good as the last, and better than the last. Jim had never been so satisfied, so pleased with anything in his life as he was with his life with Blair. Like now, his Blair, melting under his hands, open to Jim, welcoming him, desiring him, loving him. Jim's body responded to Blair's mounting pleasure; his shaft was throbbing; his blood rushing, his heartbeat thudding in his ears. 

Jim released Blair's wrists and positioned himself between Blair's legs, spreading them wide. He pressed his fingers into Blair's overheated body while he covered Blair's dick with his mouth, wrapping his other hand around the thick base, feeling the crisp hairs tickle his hand. The taste of Blair in his mouth brought him to the edge of overload, but he didn't care. Jim bought Blair to a strong orgasm; he trembled as it crashed through him, and he practically bit a hole in the pillow he had grabbed on to when Jim's exploring fingers first entered him. 

The scent of Blair's body in the throes of passion brought an olfactory response from Jim, and combined with his overloaded taste buds, his senses were hit hard, bringing Jim's orgasm quickly. He cried out as his own shaft found its liberation, fiery and intense. He collapsed on the bed beside Blair, breathing heavily, looking at his lover. Blair's face was serene; his eyes closed. His breathing was still ragged. His lips were red and full from Jim's greedy kisses. He was unable to move, so totally satisfied and pleasantly exhausted. Jim smiled, and kissed his forehead gently. Blair opened his dusky blue eyes to look into Jim's diamond blue ones, each seeing love, and friendship, and partnership, and forever. Blair grinned sleepily Jim. 

"You win. I love you, just a bit." 

"Me, too. Just a bit." 

Blair ran his hand lightly over Jim's short, soft hair, and down the side of his face, and across his lips, sighing happily. "Jim, you were pretty close to the edge there, weren't you?" 

Jim smiled at him lazily. "How do you do that? How can you tell?" 

Blair yawned and looked at Jim through sleepy, half-closed lids. "Trade secret." 

Blair was pretty much asleep when Jim returned from a quick trip to the bathroom. He brought back several warm washcloths and a couple of large bath towels. The only small sound out of Blair as Jim gave him a quick wash was "mmmmmm". He knew he would never get Blair into the shower tonight; he was just too sleepy. Jim spread the clean bath towel on the messy sheets, and he lay down and slid Blair close to him onto the dry towels so he didn't have to sleep in the wet spot. Blair deserved to be taken care of sometimes. After all, he took care of Jim all the time, looking out for him, keeping him safe. 

Blair snuggled close, searching and finding Jim's warmth, settling in, making little satisfied noises in his throat, and lay still. Jim lay on his side and looked down as Blair lay against his chest. He brushed the damp, dark locks away from Blair's sleeping face. Blair's breathing was warm against Jim's skin and the feeling brought comfort to him. He ran a finger lightly over Blair's lips. He leaned over and kissed him even more lightly, barely brushing the Blair-scented flesh. Jim silently made a vow to himself. He would never let anything happen to Blair. Jim closed his eyes, rested his arm across Blair's hip, sighed contentedly, and drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

Something startled Jim awake. His eyes flew open, and he sat up abruptly. He reached over for Blair, but his hand felt only empty space. He quickly dialed up his hearing, searching. No familiar heartbeat touched his ears. And why was it so dark? There was a full moon tonight. There should be moonlight. He opened his sense of smell, searching again. An overpowering scent washed over him. Blood. Blair's blood. 

Jim leapt from the bed, dialing his eyesight open, heading for the stairs. The aroma grew stronger. He ran carelessly down the stairs, slipping on the last two steps and landing on his tailbone. The pain radiated up his spine and into his neck. The smell was more than he could handle. It made him gag. He scanned the living room and kitchen quickly. It was everywhere. The blood was on the walls, floors, even the ceiling. Red splatters, red streaks, red rivers. He had been holding his breath, and now spots danced in front of his eyes. 

He finally shouted hoarsely. "Blair!" 

His breathing returned in deep, ragged gulps. He started to get to his feet and stopped, looking down, realizing that the hands he had pressed against the step were sticky with blood. He sat in blood, and his feet had slipped on blood. He stumbled to his feet; tore into the bathroom, Blair's old bedroom, through the living room and kitchen, and finally out onto the deck, frantically calling Blair's name. He ran out, leaving bloody footprints in the newly fallen snow. He turned slowly, looking at the footprints, stained pink from the melting of his body heat. He started screaming Blair's name over and over before collapsing into a sobbing heap. 

* * *

"Jim! Oh, man. Jim! Please, wake up. Please." Blair was panicked. Jim was sitting up in bed, yelling Blair's name, and weeping uncontrollably. His eyes were wide and unfocused; Blair realized that he was asleep. Blair knelt next to him, holding his frantically searching hands, calling Jim's name. Blair forced himself to take several calming breaths. He was out of control himself, and couldn't help Jim in this condition. He held onto Jim's hands with all his strength while he gathered his self-control. 

He forced himself to speak calmly and quietly to Jim. "Jim, focus on the sound of my voice. Listen to me. You can do it. I know you can hear me. Jim, you need to wake up. It's okay. I'm here. Jim, you have to listen. Focus. Make yourself focus." 

After many long minutes, Jim's breathing started to ease a bit, and he slowly collapsed against Blair, seemingly still asleep, his face streaked with tears. Blair wrapped his arms around him, easing him down onto his back, sliding his arm under his head, cradling him. Jim's face was flushed; he was drenched with sweat. Blair held him close, murmuring comforting words constantly. Jim's eyes fluttered several times and closed. He opened them a second or two later, and looked at Blair. His breathing was unsettled, and he hiccupped several times. 

Blair pulled a casing from a pillow and used it to wipe Jim's face and neck. "Jim, can you hear me?" 

Jim licked his lips and sighed. His throat was dry and raw, and he didn't have the energy to speak. 

Blair pulled him close, crushing him to his chest, pressing his face against Jim's hair. "What the hell happened? Do you remember?" 

Jim wrapped his arms around Blair silently. Blair held him. It took a long time for Jim's breathing to return to normal. He turned his face up to Blair's, the wet trails still evident. He tried to talk, but before he could get the first word out, his panic started to creep back over him, and he clutched Blair tightly, pressing his face into Blair's chest. 

"Whoa, Jim. Come on. It's okay. Don't try to talk. I'm here. Shh." Blair comforted Jim as if he were a small child. Blair was more than upset by Jim's silent tears, and panicked at his lover's reaction to whatever had happened. But he had to be calm for Jim. Blair knew he couldn't help him with whatever had happened without being in control. So he stroked the back of Jim's head with a gentle touch and talked to him quietly, reassuring him over and over that everything would be okay. Shivers shook Jim's body sporadically; Blair pulled the blankets close, covering him, keeping him warm. 

Blair knew Jim must have had a vision, or a dream. It also must have been enough to scare him out of his wits. Blair knew Jim's visions and dreams always meant something. If this dream made Jim this upset, then Blair had the good sense to be scared too. 

Blair glanced up at the clock on the nightstand; its green neon numbers glowing in the dark. 4:38 am. Jim had finally released some of the frantic hold he had on Blair's waist, but still his arms remained around Blair. Blair had as much patience and tenderness as Jim needed. He never moved even when both of his legs were asleep and the sharp tingles of pain radiated through his torso as his body protested. He knew he had practiced all that meditation for some reason. This was a good time to use it. 

Blair felt Jim's arms fall from their clasp of his waist. He listened carefully to Jim's breathing, and craned his neck to see his face. Jim had finally fallen asleep. It was 5:47. Keeping his arms around Jim firmly, he guided them both back onto the pillows. Only then did he straighten out his totally dead legs. He knew he was in for a lot of pain when the blood started to circulate, so he started his mantra, steeling himself for the prickles that would overtake his limbs. He put the edge of the comforter between his teeth, and never moved an inch while the blood burned a trail back into his veins. Jim's breathing was quiet and regular. That's all Blair cared about. As long as Jim was okay, nothing else mattered. 

After a while, his legs were back to normal. He finally drifted back to an uneasy sleep, his hand on Jim's chest where he could feel his steady breathing; his brain was on alert for any signs of reoccurrence of Jim's nightmare. 

* * *

Blair woke as the sun streamed into the loft and cast a golden glow through the living room. He was wary instantly, and sat up quickly, glancing at his sleeping partner. He breathed a huge sigh of relief seeing Jim's relaxed body. He questioned whether or not to wake him. He needed to know what had happened. He wondered if Jim would even remember that he had the nightmare. But Blair knew if it were a premonition, it was something that would need to be explored, especially if dire consequences seemed to be in order. Blair reached out his hand, and gently touched Jim's face. 

"Jim, it's time to wake up." 

Jim stirred and opened his eyes. He smiled at Blair; then he remembered. He sat up hastily, grabbing Blair by the upper arms. 

"Are you okay? Are you hurt? Where were you? I looked everywhere." Jim's voice was becoming agitated. He looked Blair up and down, searching for signs of injury. 

"Jim, slow down, slow down. It's okay. I'm right here. See? I didn't go anywhere." Blair tried to calm him. "Jim, it was a dream. You had a bad dream." 

Jim looked at Blair, wide-eyed. "It was so real. It's like it really happened. Oh, God, it's going to happen. Blair!" 

"Jim, you need to tell me, but you can't tell me when you're like this. You've got to settle down. Please." 

Jim dug his fingers into Blair's arms as he started to hyperventilate. Blair put his hands on Jim's shoulders. 

"Jim, listen to me. Close your eyes. Good. Now, breathe in and out, deep, cleansing breaths. I'm going to count and I want you to breathe slowly." 

Jim followed Blair's instructions. He breathed while Blair counted, Blair's gentle voice calming him. He opened his blue eyes, looking intently at his partner. 

"I think I can tell you now." 

Blair looked at him with concern. "Are you sure you're ready? Remember what you always told me; distance yourself. Don't let your emotions run away with you. You can do it." Blair's eyes bore into Jim's. "Jim?" 

"Yeah, I'm okay. I can do it." Jim returned his gaze. "Thank you." 

Blair smiled. "You're welcome." 

Jim released his tight clutch of Blair's arms. He saw the bruises starting to color Blair's skin. Jim looked from his hands back to Blair's arms. 

"Blair! I've hurt you. Damn it. Why didn't you push me away? Why didn't you smack me a good one?" 

"Honest, Jim, I never even felt it. It's okay; it's just a couple of black and blue marks. They'll go away." 

Jim reached out and pulled Blair close, hugging him. "No, it's not okay. It's never okay. I'm so sorry. I'm falling apart." 

"No, you're not. I'm not letting you fall apart. Whatever happened, we'll figure it out. Come on, let's go down and make coffee. You'll feel better doing something normal, and then you can tell me. Okay?" Blair looked up at Jim. 

"Okay, Blair. I think that would help a lot." Jim gave Blair a small grateful smile and released him. Blair noticed that Jim's smile didn't reach his eyes. Jim's eyes were fearful and unhappy. Blair didn't like that at all. 

They both quickly pulled on sweats and T-shirts, went down the stairs and out into the kitchen. Jim seemed to need something to do with his hands, something to help him put his thoughts and feelings in order. Blair skirted the edge of the counter, letting Jim make the coffee while he kept a close watch on him. Blair could tell from the set of his neck and back, and the movements of his hands, that Jim was still uneasy and unsettled. With hot cups of coffee in hand, they headed into the living room towards the sofa. Blair sat with his legs crossed facing Jim, who sat stiffly facing Blair. Blair was quiet, sipping the steaming liquid. He didn't rush Jim, knowing that Jim would tell him when he could. 

When Jim finally spoke, his voice was quiet. "It was the most awful dream I have ever had. I'm not entirely convinced it was a dream. It was so real, Blair, like when I kept having the vision of me hunting the wolf. When I killed the wolf, and he was you. That really happened. I killed you, and it's going to happen again." Jim's eyes looked unhappily at Blair. "But it was almost worse, that you were gone. It's worse not knowing. At least when I saw the wolf turn into you, I knew what was happening. I don't know what's happening now." 

"Jim, what did you dream? Tell me." Blair gently encouraged Jim, sensing that Jim was having a hard time making himself put the vision into words. 

The words tumbled out. "You were gone. Blair, you were really gone. And there was blood everywhere. So much I was sick. I couldn't find you." He stopped, closing his eyes, trying to calm himself. Jim started again, trying to make some sense this time. "I was asleep, and something woke me up. I reached for you, but you were gone. I couldn't sense you anywhere, but then I smelled blood. Your blood. I ran down the stairs and fell in the blood. It was on the ceiling and floors. It was dripping down the walls, for God's sake!" Jim's eyes were wide and alarmed. His voice was breaking. 

Blair moved closer to him, putting his cup on the floor. He took Jim's cup from his shaking hands, and it joined Blair's. Blair reached his hand behind Jim's neck, pressed his forehead to his shoulder, and lightly rubbed the back of Jim's neck. He sighed deeply as he wrapped his arms around Blair's waist, lacing his fingers together. 

"Okay. Calm down. It's really hard, I know. Your dreams and visions always have meanings. I know that. I won't say something stupid, like it's not true, or everything will be okay. I can't say that. But, Jim, what can we do? I'm here, and I'm alive. It was a dream. You know that. But what it means, I have no idea. Hey, man, I'm not ready to cash it in just yet, that's for sure. If it makes you feel any better, when you killed the wolf in your vision, that didn't happen. You didn't kill me, you know that." 

They sat silently for a long while before Blair finally spoke. 

"Jim, tell me what you think it means." 

Jim sat up and straightened his shoulders. He took a deep breath and blew it out. "Well, if it means that something is going to happen to you, that you are going to be killed, or die somehow, then it's up to me to make sure nothing happens. I have to prevent it. I would die to protect you. You mean everything to me, Blair." 

Blair looked at Jim seriously. "Thank you, Jim. I know you would. But you know we can't hide from it, only face it. We'll do it together. Okay?" 

"Okay. Together." Jim agreed. " That's the only way I can face it, if we do it together." 

* * *

Jim was edgy and uneasy for the next few days, but nothing out of the ordinary happened at work or at home. Things progressed along the same as usual for Cascade. He managed to keep an extra close eye on Blair any time they happened to be in a dangerous situation. He knew that Blair would feel like he didn't think he could handle himself if Blair knew he was more vigilant than usual, so he kept watch as covertly as possible. It made him feel a little better, but he couldn't shake the feelings that the vision had brought on. They were too intense to dismiss totally. After three or four days with no untoward life threatening incidents and no more dreams or visions, he eased up a bit. He still stayed on high alert any time they weren't safely at home. 

* * *

Jim Ellison walked into the bullpen, heading for his desk, when Captain Simon Banks called him from the door of his office. 

"Ellison!" 

Jim changed directions, making his way into Simon's office. "Captain?" 

Simon's voice was so angry that it wavered. "There's big trouble. It's David Lash. He's back in Cascade. I know because I just received a very distressing fax that he sent here. Jim, he has Blair." 

"What the hell are you talking about?" 

Simon looked at Jim sadly. "He's taken Blair. He says he's already dead. He says you'd never find his body. Jim, what are we going to do?" 

"Captain, that's crazy. I killed Lash. It's been four years. More than four years. I shot the bastard five times." 

"Jim, I am as dumbfounded as you are, but there's something you have to see. I don't know what else to do, but show you. Jim, it's bad, really bad." Simon handed Jim the 8x10 sheet of paper. 

Jim stared at the picture. His throat closed up, and he could hardly speak. 

"Oh, my God." He looked at Simon with shock and denial. "No. No." He backed up, turning to leave, trying to escape. Simon came from around his desk, grabbing Jim by the arms. Jim pushed at Simon roughly, Simon held on. "NO! He's not dead. That's a fake. That's not Blair. No, please." 

The paper slid from his fingers, fluttering to the floor, face up. Simon watched it fall as if in slow motion, the distressing image burned forever in his mind. Jim's breathing came in ragged gulps, and he mumbled over and over. "No, that's not Blair. Please, no." His knees gave out, and if not for Simon's tight hold on his arms, he would have fallen to the floor. 

* * *

"Damn it, Jim. Wake up. Oh, God, not again." Blair frantically tried to wake his partner. Jim tossed back and forth, mumbling under his breath, calling for Blair. Blair couldn't decide which was worse, Jim screaming his name or the quiet desperation in his voice now, calling him over and over. Blair placed his hands on either side of Jim's face. 

"Jim, focus. Please focus. Wake up. You're dreaming. You can hear me, Jim. It's okay. Everything is all right." 

Blair had tried waking him as if he was sleeping normally, but he had received no response. Blair knew he must have been having another dream deeper than normal sleep. Blair knew from experience that when he himself was in a vision, it took a while for him to resurface even after the vision was over. There wasn't much he could do, other than try to reach Jim's subconscious by talking to him. He sat close, holding his hands, speaking softly and steadily. Finally, after interminable minutes passed, Jim fell silent and still. Since he seemed to be calm now, Blair didn't try and wake him. Instead, he sat watching him for the longest time. He was angry with himself for not knowing what the dreams meant, and what to do about them. He was the Guide; he should be able to handle these things. He turned the events over and over in his mind, processing and categorizing what was going on, and what he thought he should do. He finally lay back down, and slept fitfully. 

* * *

Morning came, cold and rainy, dark and miserable. Exactly how Jim felt. 

Jim reached over and touched Blair's shoulder. "Hey, Blair." 

Blair's eyes popped open. "Oh, my God, Jim. Are you okay?" He sat up and looked at him intently. 

Jim rose also. "I feel really awful. Like I didn't sleep. And my head is killing me." Jim gave a small shiver. 

Blair was concerned. "Do you remember having another dream?" 

Jim first looked confused, and then he remembered. He rubbed his temples, and shivered again. "Yes, I remember." His voice was quiet. "It was terrible." 

Blair touched Jim's arm. "Jim, you're freezing. Are you sick? What's wrong? Do you want me to get you something hot to drink?" 

Jim had to smile at his lover, in spite of his headache. "Blair, please stop. One question at a time, please." 

Blair nodded. "Okay. Sorry. It's just that after last night, I'm all keyed up. We need to talk about this. These dreams have got to stop. You're going to make yourself sick or crazy." 

"Maybe it's too late; maybe I'm already crazy." 

"Come on, Jim, don't talk like that. You have these visions for a reason. We just have to figure it out. Man, it's cold in here. Let's go and light a fire. I'm freezing. Then we need to talk." 

With the fire lit, and hot cups of coffee in hand, Jim and Blair sat on the floor in front of the fireplace, cross-legged, knees touching, wrapped in blankets. 

"I called Simon, and told him we'd be in later. He said things are pretty quiet and to check back in a couple of hours." Blair informed Jim. "And here, take these." 

Jim looked at the two white pills that Blair had placed in his hand. "What are these? Some weird tribal stuff?" 

"No, Jim, they're weird modern aspirin." 

"Smart ass." Jim swallowed the pills. 

"So tell me." Blair encouraged Jim. 

Jim reflected silently for a few seconds. "It was almost worse than the last one. And then it wasn't. Then again. Oh, I don't know. I'm so mixed up, I don't know which was worse, and I don't much care. It was the same crap. You were dead. This time, that son-of-a-bitch Lash took you and killed you. He sent a picture of your body to Simon. He laid a newspaper on your chest. I saw the date. It was today's date. I said I was crazy. You know Lash is dead. I know Lash is dead. Why the hell would I have a dream like that?" 

Blair reached out, placing his hand on Jim's knee. "I hate even saying this, but you've got to be calm. You're already worn out, and you're making yourself sick. Please, Jim. I'm really worried about you." Blair's troubled eyes were wide and dark blue as they touched Jim's tired crystal blue ones. 

"Well, Blair, you might have to come and visit me in the mental hospital if this keeps up. I know one thing. I am not sleeping again." 

"Jim, you're not crazy. You're not going to go crazy. And you are sleeping. Do you hear me?" Blair was adamant. "You and I are going to be okay. I won't accept anything else." 

Jim looked at Blair solemnly. "Blair, I love you." 

Blair smiled. "We'll be all right." He was adamant. 

* * *

Once again, three or four days and nights passed by uneventfully. Jim was so tense, he snapped at everyone, Simon and Blair included. While Blair knew why and was sympathetic, Simon wasn't so understanding. He wasn't into babysitting, and he told Jim in no uncertain terms to get a grip, or he was going to find his ass on administrative leave. To Jim, it was almost worse that nothing happened. At least if something happened, he would have a chance to stop it. At this rate, he was helpless, a very irritating, annoying and frustrating position that he could not tolerate, and which he had no choice but to endure. 

It was no surprise that Jim was also having trouble sleeping. He paced at all hours of the night, keeping Blair awake as well. Consequently, he was exhausted and irritable. Blair was just exhausted. He managed to keep from being irritable, though just barely. After three nights of sporadic sleep, Blair managed to get Jim into bed. He practically sat on him to keep him there. Jim was exhausted, but he was more apprehensive because of the visions than he was worried about lack of sleep. Blair convinced him to at least lie down, and within minutes, they were both asleep. The night passed uneventfully. 

Jim could hear Blair up in the bedroom, moving around, humming under his breath. When Blair hummed, it usually meant he was concentrating on his task. Jim's panther-curiosity got the better of him. He climbed the stairs, and when he reached the landing, he saw Blair hanging something up on the railing near the head of the bed. He leaned against the wall; silently observing his lover engrossed in his activity. The small, round object about six inches across had strands of brown thread or string running around the outside of the circle, and crisscrossed the center in an erratic pattern. It reminded Jim of a drunken spider's web. There were colored feathers of brown, tan and white tied to the ends of several long strands which hung down from the bottom of the circle. Colorful beads were woven into the cords above the feathers. Blair looked up and saw Jim's quiet observance of his activities. 

He smiled. "Hey, Jim." 

"What's up, Blair? What is that?" 

"This is a dream catcher." 

"You're kidding. What does it do, catch dreams?" 

"Yeah, exactly. This is a Navajo dream catcher. The Indians believed that the night air was filled with good and bad dreams. So dream catchers are hung so they can catch dreams as they float by. The good dreams travel to the center hole, and slip through, and slide down the feather. The bad dreams are tangled in the webbing, and perish in the dawn of the new day. The feathers don't bother you, do they?" Blair inquired. 

"No. They don't bother me. But you don't expect me to buy that story, do you?" 

Blair grinned sheepishly. "Actually, Jim, I was hoping you would. I was hoping I could psyche you out into believing it. Then you would have a reason to stop having the dreams." 

Jim watched Blair thoughtfully for a few seconds while he finished his placement of the dream catcher. Blair stopped and looked at Jim, spreading his hands, palms up. "What?" 

Jim grinned and crossed the space between them, pulling Blair close and hugging him, kissing his forehead. "Thanks, Blair." 

"For what? It's not that much. It was on sale." 

"Blair, you're a terrible liar. You knew I wouldn't buy that story. You did it to make me feel better. Thanks." 

Blair grinned at Jim, shrugging his shoulders. "I thought it was worth a shot. It sure won't hurt." Jim read the love and concern in the summer sky blue eyes, and it melted his insides. 

Jim's hand under Blair's chin tilted his head so Jim's lips easily found Blair's. He held him tightly and kissed him hungrily. 

Jim's clear blue eyes touched Blair's. "Did you have any plans for tonight?" 

Blair pressed his hand behind Jim's neck, kissing Jim's warm lips passionately, and pressing his body against his lover's. "I didn't before, but now I do." 

* * *

When Jim Ellison answered his cell phone, the voice at the other end made his blood run cold. 

"Hello, Jim. How have you been?" A woman's voice inquired. 

"Who is this?" 

She had a deep laugh. "You know who this is. I'm back to finish it." 

"I don't believe you." Jim spoke through clenched teeth. "You're locked up. There is no way you're in Cascade. You're lying." 

"Oh, am I? Well, I guess you don't want to talk to our favorite grad student then." 

"Alex, what the hell are you talking about?" Jim was starting to get scared. 

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about. Here, listen." 

Jim dialed up his hearing. She must have been holding the phone close to Blair's body, because Jim could hear his heartbeat, as recognizable to Jim's senses as his voice, look or smell. The blood rushed into Jim's ears. He was livid. He would kill her with his bare hands. 

"Alex! Alex! I'm warning you, you had better not hurt him." Jim's voice was blistering with anger. 

Alex laughed menacingly. "Jim, you're warning me? You're warning me! I'll give you credit. You have some set of balls to say that. This time I'll succeed. You betrayed me. I won't make the same mistake twice. You know, Jim, that first time when I failed, I made the mistake of underestimating our young friend here. When I tried to drag him to a nice, quiet place to kill the little bastard, he actually tried to escape. I had to settle for drowning him when I caught up with him. I was much smarter this time. Now I have him in a very nice and a very quiet place. Say good bye, Jim." 

The sound of a gunshot blasted Jim's ears, making him jump. He dialed his hearing up, searching through the phone line for Blair's heartbeat. He couldn't find the familiar thumping. As familiar as his own; more loved than anyone Jim had ever loved. 

He shouted Blair's name over and over as the phone dropped from his hand, shattering as it hit the ground. 

* * *

Jim Ellison shook his head to clear his mind, and blinked several times. The sunlight was so bright that it blinded him. He put his head back and closed his eyes. Finally, he opened them, and ran his hand across his forehead. He looked into the distressed face of his partner, Blair Sandburg, and then slowly looked around. They were parked along a quiet side street. Jim was surprised to see that Blair was in the driver's seat. He had been driving, he knew. 

"Jim! Answer me. Jim, you've got to answer me. Come on, man, take a deep breath. Jim, focus on my voice." Blair's usual calming Guide voice was absent. He was too distressed to concentrate right now. 

"What happened? Oh, God, I know what happened. I had another one. I'm wide-awake, and I had another vision. It was more like a damned nightmare." Jim looked unhappily at Blair. "I can't take much more of this." He said quietly. 

"Are you okay? How do you feel?" 

Jim sighed. "I'm not okay. I feel like hell, that's how I feel." He replied curtly. 

Blair didn't respond; he just looked quietly at Jim. Jim was immediately contrite. Of all people, Blair was the one he shouldn't snap at. "Blair, I'm sorry. Please. I'm sorry. It was another vision full of fun and games. I'm going stark raving mad. What am I going to do? I'm seriously contemplating shooting myself." 

Blair reached for the key, and started the truck. 

"Where are we going?" 

Blair glanced in the rear view mirror before pulling out. "Jim, it was lucky we were on this street when you went into the vision. We could have both been killed, and taken out a lot of other people with us. I'm happy that I managed to get the truck to the side of the road in one piece. But this has got to stop. We're going to fix this right now." 

Jim looked intently at Blair's determined face. "How?" 

Blair quickly glanced at his partner before turning his eyes back to the road. "Hey, man, I'm the Guide. That's why they pay me the big money. I know what to do now." 

"Okay." Jim answered simply. He trusted Blair, and if Blair said he knew what to do, that was good enough for Jim. He breathed a sigh of relief, and put his head back, closing his eyes. 

* * *

When they arrived back at the loft, Blair started issuing orders. 

"Turn off the phones and lock the front door, Jim." Blair told him as he rummaged through one of the kitchen cupboards, retrieving several new candles and a jar of his special blend of incense. He took the items over to the coffee table, and set them down. 

"Help me push the furniture back and put the coffee table in the middle of the floor." Blair instructed. Jim and Blair worked together, arranging the furniture and candles. Blair poured incense into his burner and lit it. Jim lit the candles. Blair closed the blinds, and turned off all the lights. He went back over to the table. 

"Okay, Jim, make yourself comfortable across from me, put your wrists into my hands, and I'll put mine in yours." Jim and Blair sat on either side of the table, their hands joined. Blair looked at Jim. 

"You ready?" Blair looked solemnly at Jim. 

Jim ran his tongue over his dry lips, and huffed out his breath. "Yes," He said, returning Blair's gaze." 

Taking these trips with Blair was still strange to Jim. His military mind had been grounded in reality for so long that being in the realm of the supernatural was almost more than he could process. If he hadn't experienced the dreams and visions, the spirit guides and the Sentinel abilities first hand, he would never have believed that any of it was true. 

Jim felt Blair's gentle squeeze on his wrists, reassuring him with a touch. Blair knew Jim was a bit apprehensive. Jim did what he always did in these situations; he put his faith in Blair. 

Blair used his best Guide voice. "Close your eyes. Take deep and cleansing breaths. Feel the pulse beating against your hand. Concentrate on its steady rhythm. Breathe again. Travel to the place of your animal sprit. Picture it in your mind. Focus on it." Blair voice droned on steadily, taking them on their journey. 

* * *

Ellison and Sandburg stood in front of the ruins of the ancient temple deep in the jungle. Only thin fingers of sunlight managed to penetrate the overgrown vegetation, and the air was thick with moisture. There was total silence. Large slabs of stone were strewn here and there under the tangles of jungle vines and exotic plants. Stelae carved a thousand years ago by long dead inhabitants were still visible on some of the gray, weathered stones--faces of fierce warriors, jungle animals, and the gods of war and peace. On a crumbling slab of fallen stone directly in front of the Sentinel and the Guide, stood a formidable looking Chopec warrior. He watched the companions intently as they silently waited. The wolf trotted confidently into the clearing, jumped up and landed on the slab, and sat on its haunches next to the Spirit. The panther followed on its heels, and gracefully launched itself onto the very top of a large piece of rock directly behind the slab on which the Chopec warrior stood. The panther snarled fiercely once, lay down and serenely peered at the gathering below. Blair could hear the rumbling purr of the big cat from where he stood. 

The spirit directed his gaze at Blair. "It is time. You must decide. Do you accept this path you travel with the Sentinel?" 

Blair did not hesitate. "Yes." He answered resolutely. 

The warrior's eyes then locked on Jim. 

"Why have you come? The answers lie within you." 

Jim was confused. "The visions, the dreams. I don't know what they mean." 

"You control the visions and dreams. It is within your power. Your arrogance keeps you from exercising that control." 

"Then help me understand. Please." 

The spirit watched Jim intently. "You have been chosen to be the Sentinel for a reason. You have accepted that path." 

The warrior stopped, and waited patiently. Jim turned the statements made by the spirit over in his mind. He looked at the spirit. 

"I'm keeping myself from having control because I think I'm special, that my gifts make me special." 

Again the warrior silently and patiently waited. Jim tried again. 

"I feel that because I am a Sentinel, I should be able to control what happens around me, and that I have the power to do so. When I'm unable to control events and people around me, I feel that I have failed." 

The warrior finally spoke. His reverberating voice was not judgmental, only informative. "You believe that you have the power of life and death in your hands. When you accepted your role as Sentinel, your responsibilities were to be accountable for your actions and to learn from your mistakes like any other man. You were not given the power of life and death." 

Jim studied the warrior quietly for several minutes before he spoke again. He finally understood what he had done. When he had vowed to never let anything happen to Blair, he had unconsciously started the visions of Blair's death, bringing to the surface his worst fears, his fear of losing Blair, and his fear of failure. It was painful to admit to himself, but he did not always have the ability to save each and every life that passed through his world. Sentinel or not, he was only one man. He could only do his best. 

He also realized that the spirits had allowed him to save Blair, to bring him back, because it simply wasn't Blair's time to die. They had returned the life of his Guide to him, and he was deeply grateful. He understood that he needed to cherish his life with Blair; there was no guarantee that his Guide's life would be returned again should another such situation occur. 

"I understand now. The visions and dreams are out of control because I think I have the ability to change fate; that even if it is time for Blair to die, or anyone else for that matter, that I alone should be able to stop it. I have to be willing to accept what happens and when it happens, even if I don't like it or agree. And I must realize that I have done the right things to the best of my abilities." 

"Yes," answered the spirit. "You were chosen to be the Sentinel not only because of your ability to harness the power of your gifts physically, but also for your ability to harness the power of your gifts mentally and spiritually. Physical prowess alone is not enough. These gifts have been bestowed upon others, and have been abused. You have seen the consequences. You have learned from these experiences. You have been well chosen, Sentinel." 

With those words, the spirit disappeared in a white, swirling mist. The sleek panther leapt from its vantage point, landed lightly on quiet pads, and launched itself into Jim's body. Likewise, the wolf stood and leapt into Blair's frame. 

* * *

Both men startled slightly as normal space and time returned. Blair breathed in and out quickly, catching his breath. Jim shook his head, and pinched the bridge of his nose. Their eyes met. 

"Wow." Blair blurted out. 

"Yeah." Jim agreed. They sat quietly for a long while, reliving the experience in their minds. 

Blair finally spoke. "Jim, you okay?" 

"I think so. How about you?" 

"Yes, I think so, too." 

"Ah, Blair?" 

"What?" 

"How in the hell did we do that?" 

Blair looked at Jim and laughed. "I have no idea. We're just special, I guess. You were wrong when you thought you weren't special. You are special, Jim, very special. And I don't mean just to me." 

Jim smiled, and shook his head. "I know what I saw, and I know what I heard, I just can't believe that I did. It always surprises me, and I think it always will." He stopped, once again thinking about the experience. "So, I think I can now safely say all those visions were definitely in my head. I guess I was driving myself crazy after all." 

"Seems that way, doesn't it?" Blair agreed. 

"Thanks a lot. Some help you are." Jim laughed. "Blair, just think, I'm only crazy! You aren't going to die. At least not this week." 

Blair grinned. "I'm glad to hear that, Jim. Seriously though, are you okay with what he told you, about how you are, and all? It was very personal." 

"The spirit just told it like it is. I can accept that. It's probably something you should have told me all along. Hell, it was probably something you have told me. I just didn't listen. " Jim reflected. "Blair, I realized something when we were in the vision. The animal spirits allowed you to come back, but the outcome might not be the same if it happens again." Jim stopped; the words were hard to say. "If you should die again." 

Blair looked at him seriously. "Jim, listen to me. You brought me back. That one thing was enough to bring you and I together forever. If something should happen to me, you need to accept it, and realize how much I love you. You did bring me back." 

"I love you, too, Chief, more than I've ever loved anybody in this world. But I feel like I didn't have anything to do with your resurrection." 

"Now that's not necessarily true, Jim. The animal spirit always works through you anyway, so you did bring me back, with the spirit's power." 

Jim thought for a second and then nodded. "I guess you're right. I did use the spirit's energy." 

"Yes, Jim. You channeled the spirit's energy, and you brought me back." Blair knew how much it helped ease Jim's conscience about those events to feel like he was at least partly responsible for Blair's return to life. 

"What about what he asked you? You're sure about us? That this is what you want?" 

Blair gave Jim a soft smile, and looked at him with warm blue eyes. "No question. This is exactly what I want." 

"Good. That's great." Jim smiled, looking at his lover and liking the way Blair was watching him, with affection and happiness. Jim liked the way Blair made him feel, like he was someone special after all. "Hey, it's really nice out. Let's do something. Let's go the pier and wander. I'll buy you an ice cream." 

"You're right, it is nice out, and that sounds like a good idea. And later, we can do something else." Blair suggested. 

Jim chuckled at him, reached over and ruffled his hair. His life with Blair was more fulfilling, more enjoyable than he could have ever imagined. 

They headed out the door, grabbing jackets on their way, laughing and talking. Jim pulled the door closed behind him, and Blair walked backwards down the hall, talking to Jim. 

"Hey, Jim, I read in the paper that there's a new booth at the pier. They sell these totally natural body oils. I think I'd like to try some. We'll get a few samples and try them until we find something that doesn't irritate your nose, and that turns you on." 

Blair turned gracefully at the end of the hall and hit the elevator button. Jim came up behind him; putting his hands on Blair's shoulders, and leaning down to speak softly into his ear. Jim's voice was light and happy. 

"Now that does sound interesting. Keep talking that way, and you'll be lucky if you get off the elevator without me sampling you without any damned oil, and I can guarantee you it will be all natural." 

* * *

End Dream Catcher by LilyK: chakbalam@netscape.net

Author and story notes above.

  
Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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